Fade
by Tansyuduri
Summary: I wonder what it would have been like had you survived...
1. Chapter 1

_I often wonder, what would it have been like had you survived? I know you where dying, there was nothing I could do about that, but did it have to end so abruptly? What if you had survived? Would things have been different? I don't know Alfons. I guess I'll never know..._

_FADE..._

Pain, darkness, and more pain, So much pain he could barely even think. Hushed voices surrounded him but he couldn't make out what they were saying. He didn't know who, or where he was. Only that he wanted to die, desperately wanted an end to this pain. The darkness pressed down on him and he couldn't move, couldn't even get enough air to scream.

More pain. The voices were getting more urgent now. As the pain dulled slightly he could make out a from earlier voice in the background. He couldn't remember how he knew the speaker. He didn't want to remember. He just wanted to give himself up to the dullness that was setting in, beckoning to him with it's blessed relief. The from earlier voice was shouting now, but he couldn't care. He just wanted this all to be over. The dullness was slowly taking over and he welcomed it. It was time for him to go.

Shock. Pain. Electricity flowing through his body. Desperately he held on to the dullness, trying to sink back into it. Why was it abandoning him now when it was so close to taking over? Another shock, the dullness slipped back even farther. No! He wanted it to take him, to put an end to the pain! He struggled to get it back even harder. Another shock. It was gone, and so was his only hope of escape. He felt his mouth open in a silent scream. Then he gasped, air flowing into his lungs as a different darkness began to close over him. He heard the from earlier voice exclaim something in relief. Then the different darkness took over and he knew no more.

Alfons Heiderich's eyes flew open. He was lying in a bed staring up at a very plain white ceiling. There was a dull pain in his chest that was steadily growing stronger as he become more and more awake. "Nynghh" he winced as the pain stabbed through his chest.

"Alfons?" Edward strode over to him peering down anxiously with his golden eyes "Alfons? You ok!?" Alfons slowly lifted a hand feeling the bandages wrapped around his chest. "Um, no?" He gave Edward an odd look.

"Brother?" a younger boy popped his head through the doorway. Alfons, who had just managed to sit himself up with his friend assistance froze and nearly fell over again. It was not every day you saw a younger version of yourself entering the room you were in. No that wasn't right, he corrected himself. The boy's skin and hair were a different color. And his voice was different. Alfons shook his head to clear it, the result of which made him slightly dizzy. Then realization dawned on him. This must be Edward's little brother. "Oh, you're awake." The boy smiled at him. "We were really worried." Now he fell over for real. Maybe it was the shock of seeing someone who looked so much like him, or maybe it was his body protesting being used so much so soon, eitherway he fell back into the darkness again.

The next several weeks passed agonizingly slowly for Alfons. Sure he survived the gunshot wound, but he was still running out of time. He couldn't wait to get out in the field and conduct some more research. Every hour that passed by was an hour he could have spent on his rockets working to broaden mankind's horizons. He could just see it, one day mankind would truly be able to reach the stars, travel to other planets, maybe even live on them. To be part of something so glorious was an honor in and of itself, but it was more then that. It was how he intended to leave his mark on the world. More then anything else about dying that was what he was afraid of. Being forgotten, fading into oblivion like so many others were perfectly happy to do. After his body was gone what else would be there to prove he had been here? A single tombstone among hundreds lonely and forgotten? No, he wanted something more. He needed something more! But he was running out of time. Maybe it would have been a bit better if he could have been left to read his books, take notes, and brainstorm new ideas; but no, he couldn't even do that much. He needed rest, he understood that much. The more rest he had the quicker his body would heal and the quicker he could recover. No that wasn't it. It was his damn coughing! He kept coughing up blood and freaking all the doctors and nurses out. No matter how many times he tried to explain that it was perfectly normal for him they insisted on doing a complete check every single time, He couldn't exactly tell them that he was dying of TB. They were problubly suspicious enough as it was, and he did NOT intend on spending the rest of his time cooped up in a sanitarium! So all he could do was wait for them to relise him, resisting the urge to scream in frustration and freak them out even more.


	2. Chapter 2

"Damn it!" Edward Elric pounded his fist on the wooden window frame inside his room. "Damn it all to hell!!!! All his life the road in front of him had been clear. Bring back mother, get al's body back. Find a way to get back home, there had never been an instance when he'd been forced too chose between two paths, until now. He had to destroy the bomb that much was simple, but how… how could he just abandon his friend! Alfons might not be his brother, but the two had lived and worked together for years, they were like family! He had been horrified seeing him lying there like that bleeding and seemingly dead, and when Noah had realized that he still had a faint heartbeat he had been just as frantic to get him to some help as he would have been if the same had happened to Al. Heiderich had become more then a friend to him, he had become like a brother. Nothing could match the endless experiences he and Al had had together, that much was certain. but still Heiderich was more then just a friend. The worst part was although they had been able to save him from the gunshot wound Heiderich was still dying, slowly of that disease, and there was nothing he could do. He hated feeling so helpless! "Damn it" Edward hit the window frame again, angry tears running down his face, then sunk down onto the bed putting his face in his hands. What was he supposed to do? He had to destroy the bomb, but he couldn't just leave Alfons to die! But even if he stayed there was nothing he could do to help his friend meanwhile the bomb could be drifting farther and farther away for all they knew. Go or stay? Go or stay? Edward just couldn't decide.


End file.
